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Eva M. Snyder this page last updated 7/4/00

Morning Caffeina Ritual

As dictated to Sheherazahde by her High Priestess Jill, who first manifested this rite of Caffeina at Panthea.

Participants stagger into a semi-circle wearing bathrobes and fuzzy slippers.

HPS picks up sugar and milk and says:

"Those who follow the pure dark path need not participate in this part of the ritual."
She raises the sugar and says:
"Hail to thee O Essence of Sweetness"
She raises the milk and says:

"Hail to thee O Essence of Light"(yawn)

"When you are joined, you cast out the bitterness."

Pour sugar into the milk. Pretend to asperges the circle with the sugar and milk mixture. Warning! Do not actually sprinkle sugar and milk over people.

Call approximate quarters. Wander into the East squinting into the sun and yawning a lot. (Camp it up.)

"Hail to thee Guardians of the East. Spirits of Air, that carry to us the smell of coffee."

"Hail to thee Guardians of the South, Spirits of Fire, the heat which makes it possible to brew coffee, and the energy which coffee gives us.

"Hail to thee Guardians of the West, Spirits of Water, which mixed with the blessed bean create the sacred beverage, Coffee."

"Hail to thee Guardians of the North, Spirits of Earth, Upon whose bosom grows the blessed bean. Precious indeed art thou to the Goddess for is not one of Her names Grounds."

The followers of Caffeina do not generally invoke the God (after all the followers of Java do not generally invoke Caffeina) You can do a four tiered invocation of the Goddess from Her most frothy (Cappuccino) to Her most Earthy (Turkish) But we do this one.

"(Yawn) We call and beseech thee, Caffeina. Join us, Give us energy, give us strength. Bring your life giving properties to us. Join us at this rite, Welcome and Blessed be."
Everyone drinks. Then for the Great Rite, use a croissant or a cinnamon twist or any long thin breakfast pastry.

"Let it be known that no man is greater than a woman nor is a woman greater than a man for what one lacks the other can give. As the pastry is to the male so the mug is to the female for when they are joined they become breakfast."
You don't need a dismissal because Caffeina stays with you. We do not dismiss the Goddess Caffeina and when she leaves of Her own free will we just have another Cup.

Feel free to improvise on this ritual. You are going to anyway.

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